If I Can't Love Her: A Rumplestiltskin Reflection
by Wickedlovely01
Summary: Rumplestiltskin reflects on his beloved Belle's death. (For more info, read the Authors note inside) you won't be disapointed, I promise


**A/N: So I was on Pandora searching the internet for Rumbelle stuff (I know I'm obsessed! XD) When this song came on. Because Rumple is known as a beast, I imagined him singing this song in his mind as he reflects his beloved Belle's death, and relives parts of Bae's. But you should so listen to the song! It's called: If I can't love her. It's from beauty and the beast on broadway (Which I've seen, if you get the chance, GO AND SEE IT IF YOU LOVE RUMBELLE!)**

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If I Can't Love her: A Rumplestiltskin Reflection

I run up the stone stairs of my castle, screaming with rage and sadness. Regina told me that my Belle had dove of the window of her tower after her father shunned and locked her up for loving me. For loving the beast. I caught myself on the stone ledge to a window, my body racking up and down with sobs. As I cry for my long gone love, I song I herd off in a far away land comes to the front of my bitter and cruel mind.

_And my twisted face_

_There's not the slightest trace_

_Of anything that even hints of kindness_

There was only kindness from Belle, but I pushed her away, and she could see passed my scarred face to my human face

_And from my tortured shape_

_No comfort, no escape_

_I see, but deep within is utter blindness_

Losing Belle was in a way, worse than losing Bae. With Bae, somewhere in my mind I found comfort that I would find him again one day. But there was no escape from Belle's death. I knew she was dead.

_Hopeless_

_As my dream dies_

_As the time flies_

_Love is a lost illusion _

Without Belle beside me, I was hopeless. Without Belle, my dream of her and I raising a family together had died, only to exist in my memory. I stand here for a long time, not unlocking my grip on the grey stone.

_Helpless_

_Unforgiven_

_Cold and Driven_

_To this sad conclusion_

I'm weak because I didn't get Belle's forgiveness for driving her away. Maybe the pain wouldn't be so bad if I had. Just to hear the words "I forgive you Rumplestiltskin." Would have ebbed the pain of her death. I don't want to come to the conclusion of her death, I can't handle it.

_No beauty could move me_

_No goodness improve me_

_No power on earth, if I can't love her_

The only beauty in my life was Belle. Now, with her gone, I can't find the beauty in life anymore. Belle was the only one nice to me, and now my heart has turned to stone and anything I do, it will be for me. I will make sure I am the only one with power now that I've lost her.

_No passion could reach me_

_No lesson could teach me_

_How I could have loved her and make her love me too_

Passion. The word strikes me with longing. Belle and I had a passion that could have lasted more than 10,000 lifetimes. I could not be taught to be a better man without losing my powers, so I let my teacher go. I loved her and she was beginning to love me back, but I was a fool for letting her go.

_Long ago I should have seen_

_All the things I could have been_

_Careless and unthinking, I moved onward_

Bae's father, the village coward, and maybe Milah would have stayed with me if I fought in the ogre wars like everyone else. Or maybe I could have still met Belle and we could have lived happily ever after. I saw these things before I became the dark one. But I gave that all up for power, power I didn't need anymore, so I threw magical bits and objects out the tower window, as far as I could in my anger.

_No pain could be deeper_

_No life could be cheaper_

_No point any more, if I can't love her_

The pain and responsibility I feel for my Bell's death is unbearable. She flung herself out of window, because of me! My life is worthless now, without any meaning! There's not a single aspect in life if I cannot have my darling Belle, in my arms, alive.

_No spirit could win me_

_No hope left within me_

_Hope I could have loved her, and she'd set me free_

I had loved her, I still do love her, but I was afraid that my crutch of power was leaving me, and I was scared, but I could have been free, free and with Belle, my true love. But because of my ignorance, she died. She died because of my ignorance…

_If I can't love her_

_Let the world be done with me_

I slowly lower myself on to the floor, letting my body rack with sobs. The evil queen could walk in and see me crying, I wouldn't care. I would invite her to kill me, so that I could be with my Belle once more, without my powers, maybe then, I could have loved her, and she could have loved me.

I laugh like a mad man. Is this my other curse? To have the ones I love ripped from my fingertips when I need them most? I guess so. My heart turns to stone as I laugh once more. I won't forget Belle, but I could try, but I won't. It's impossible to forget a beauty like her, like my darling Belle.

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**A/N: It's me again! I forgot to tell you, this is actually my first song fic, so go easy on me cuz I'm tired and it's my first so yeah... OH I FORGOT! DISCLAIMER! I don't own anything not even the song. GO AND SEE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST ON BROADWAY! BYEEE RUMBELLE FIVEEVER! 3**


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